I envision life.
Life is white hot; A molten liquid pouring down from an enormous matte ladle.
Everything in this foundry of a universe is thereby directly affected by my existence.
But i remain 1600 degrees of pure inertia, and any obstacle is as non-existent as the centrifugal force that twirled it in my direction.
More intense than the heat I emit, is my inevitable destiny.
One that this foundry already had prepared for me when I was mere iron ore, yet knew that I would melt it into my own unique interpretation upon landing in it.
white turns red
red turns orange
orange turns yellow
yellow becomes strong
As the mold opens and steam escapes from the new found contact with cool air.
Out of the cloud, I emerge.
A unified creation of the foundry I was born to…. and my own.
I was my own child.
This self-reflection.„ has already annoyed someone. And the fact that I just said it annoyed someone….probably annoyed them more. Because it’s more of the same. The same Gershon “cavalier-ing” through life with utter disregard to everything and everyone that does not immediately affect himself. But what about this moment. This moment of continuing to be viewed as the exact same careless irresponsible child he has been viewed as since actual childhood. Does this not affect me. It Does. Deeply. Harshly. The continued effort to become the man I see within the confines of my mind, being looked upon as not even a goal that’s really being aspired for. Just words. More of the same. Talk. Do you know how it feels to feel as though you’re trying your hardest, but to know that if you were trying your hardest then it would be apparent, so thereby getting slapped in the face by your obviously flawed meta-cognition. I still don’t care apparently. But I think I do. I feel as though I’m making serious effort towards it. But apparently not. Because if I were… it would be seen…. beyond the confines of my mind. It’s Painful. To see that you are your own demise. And feel as though you’re a mere bystander watching potential death. But then know that the gun is in your own hand and regardless of your incessantly insistent trigger finger, you still have four other fingers on that hand alone that can stop it. But they feel numb. So I guess now I’m just doing stretches and light jumpingjacks… in hopes of revitalizing my other four fingers… before I pull the trigger.
P.S. I plan on dropping the gun and then cutting off that finger… It’s never really been good for anything but pointing and shooting anyway
I read the definition of sufficient. It was “adequate for the purpose”… I read this because my mind was telling my fingers to type something related to self-sufficiency.
I’d assume it’s another one of those desires…
For my life to be… “adequate for the purpose”
What else does one need? What more could possibly be necessary to fulfill a life of enormous purpose, than to always have an adequate ability to do so?
I then read that adequate tends toward the qualitative and sufficient toward the quantitative. So adequate is ‘suitable to something’ and sufficient is ‘enough for something’
Again I say,
So self-sufficiency would be having enough energy, or enough money, or enough love to maintain intrinsic and extrinsic balance.
On the other hand, self-adequacy would be having a suitable amount of energy, or money, or love.
The brilliance of the English language prevails again!
My mind immediately storms into an internally-initiated debate/dialogue currently centered around the thought of who exactly determines the difference between ENOUGH and SUITABLE.
Enough is never really enough. Three oranges are enough for me but one is enough for you. 10 million dollars is enough for me but 287 million is enough for you. One lover is enough for me but a collection of at least 3 monogamous-for-them-but-polygamous-for-you relationships are enough for you.
Three to Five servings of fruit each day is suitable to almost EVERYONE! Six to eight glasses of water each day is suitable to almost EVERYONE! Washing your face once in the morning and again at night is suitable to almost EVERYONE!!!!!!
but who created those standards… ?
the infamous… “they”?
as in, “That’s what ‘they’ say you should do”
Maybe “they” is the collective conscious of everyone who has lived up to this particular point in history.
So then, “they” would be simply a construct made up of the certain ideals that we unanimously hold to be authoritative truths.
In that case I like “They”
We are “They”
and even though they say you should be self-sufficient,
I think they meant to say we should be self-adequate.
That sounds more like something they would say…
As of late I’ve found myself on a sort of a quest. A quest of… well… Perfection.
I Know… I already know I promise.
But these are Lazy Lies and Limitations.
We humans. We procrastinators, We lackadaisical, self impositioners.
Why are we afraid of looking the best we can possibly look? Do you really even understand the power of Attractiveness?
”Psychological studies since the 1970s have established that the physically attractive are more successful at job interviews, judged to have higher IQs, seen as more socially skilled and thought to be superior at all sorts of tasks such as teaching, even piloting aircraft. Beautiful children are punished less by adults and pretty people attract more lenient sentences in court”
"Prof Ingrid Olson from the Centre for Cognitive Neuroscience at the University of Pennsylvania and Christy Marshuetz of Yale University recently published data which demonstrate that we can judge an attractive face when it’s presented so quickly we can’t even consciously note it. (13 milliseconds)"
I don’t know about you, but I want my 13 millisecond advance. Why not treat my physical body as the awe-inspiring, illustrious, architecturally impeccable, temple of the pure soul that it actually is? Why concede to an entire lifetime or 2,366,269,450 seconds of judgments and alienations and exclusions from opportune events that I would have been on the guest list for had I perfected my 13 millisecond calling card?
These desires of mine aren’t the result of a societally-brainwashed mind of debility, but rather a socially-boosted mind of dexterity. I believe it takes a truly wise man to understand that the fortification of his mind isn’t necessarily directly correlated with having an overall fortress of self. The body and the soul hold equal value in their presentation. Therefore, I consider being “beautiful” and “healthy” and “in shape” just as important as being, “spiritual” and “God-fearing” and “Loving”.Other wise we’re just honoring one-third or two-thirds of this three-tier gift/obstacle-course we have been given called life.
I would never worry about changing my nose shape or chemically adding a more defined jaw-line. My goal is to present this exact temple that I have been given in the most flattering light possible, as to give it’s creator all the glory he deserves for his masterful innovation in anatomical architecture. No redesigning, no switching out windows, doors, or even gutters. They were all built to last. Just simply good landscaping, power-washing, and housekeeping.
"You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” - Jesus Christ, Matthew 4:48
At some point, there comes a point at which no more points exist.
At least from your point of view.
The Horizon. The x-axis.
No perpendicular y-axis pertruding.
No points to graph.
It’s not even a graph at all.
Just a line.
Beyond which, no more points exist.
At least from your point of view.
Why does this bring me peace…
to look beyond this beige shore and see nothing
This colorless, shapeless, formless substance, from my point of view ,seems obviously blue and is clearly shaped off by a line so straight that its creator HAD to have traced it.
Maybe from something that at some point was beyond the point at which beyond that point no more points exist.
How would it have been to have been here when that thing was there?
To be able to visibly see something…
Beyond the Horizon.
I think it would have been quite distasteful.